Feb 5, 2004
A little better

Life's starting to get a little better. I have only cried once today. That was this morning because I didn't want to face the world, not after all the crying I did last night at least. I think my best friend is mad at me. I don't what I did or what to do about it either. I wish I could go back to how my life was a week ago. Everything was so happy and full of bliss. I still thought I was going to spend spring break and my 6 month anniversary with my boyfriend. My best friend also wasn't mad at me last week. Oh well, I'm going to deal with it the only way I know how & ever have. I will convince myself that I don't care and that it doesn't bother me. One of these days I'm going to eplode from holding so much in. But I guess it's better that I hold it in than hurt the people close to me & the ones I love. I would rather hurt so that others don't have to. And I'd rather let it out when I'm by myself than when others are around because I don't want them to see me hurt. It makes me sad. Now that I've gone way more deep than I intended, I'm going to stop.

My Daily Horoscope:
  A phone call from your love partner might leave you feeling especially desirous and passionate, Courtney . You and your friend may want to escape and cook up a lovely gourmet dinner for yourselves, then settle in to read a romantic book of poems to each other, as both your minds are as eager as your bodies. After that - well, who knows? There's definitely love in the air. Have a great time!

Horoscopes make me laugh. They're always so optimistic.

Posted at 04:41 pm by CeCi
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Feb 4, 2004

Why is it that in movies that everything seems to be perfect? I've always wondered why they end romance movies before showing what life in love is like. I want to see a movie that is more like real life.

My horoscope for today: "Expanding horizons" are the keywords for today. You may get the desire to take a long journey by air on the spur of the moment - perhaps in the company of a friend. Whether you decide to follow through with this, however, depends on your circumstances. If you can, Courtney , this is a good time to plan a trip. It's also a good time to explore opportunities for advancing your education in some way.
This is why I don't believe in horoscopes. They lie. They try to decieve you. Just like those damn movies!!

I just want to curl up and disappear. I don't know for how long. Just until everything just leaves me alone.

Posted at 03:57 pm by CeCi
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Jan 2, 2004

There's really nothing else to say except that I miss Peter more than words can describe. :(............ I don't know if I can last until Tuesday.

Posted at 11:39 am by CeCi
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Dec 22, 2003
Sick and Miserable

I'm sick. I hate being sick. This is like the 8th or 9th year for me to be sick on Christmas. I really miss Peter too. That factor doesn't help at all. It kinda gets me out of the Christmas spirit because he's gone. It makes me wanna cry. I don't think he realizes how much I love him & how much I miss him. I don't think he really misses me. Like last night when I called him, he was watching a movie that appearently he'd already seen. All he talked to me about pretty much was the movie. Oh well. I guess this seperation will do me some good. I think I'm too attached. Especially since I'll prolly end up going to school 2 1/2 hours away next year. Peter's not going to want to drive to see me. I should've seen this coming. It's all my fault. I fell in love. I set myself up for it. I feel like shit. I feel like the bacteria on shit. I'm going to curl up in bed and cry now...........  :.(.. 

Posted at 04:32 pm by CeCi
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Dec 15, 2003
Pop Quiz

<p align="center"><a href="http://sugardew.com/bloggalicious/quizzies/flower/flowerquiz.htm" target="_blank">
<img border="0" src="http://sugardew.com/bloggalicious/quizzies/flower/hibiscus.gif" width="200" height="137"><br>
what's your inner flower?</a><br>
<a href="http://sugardew.com"><font color="#FFAED7">[c] sugardew</font></a></p>

Posted at 04:34 pm by CeCi
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Dec 13, 2003
Sound of Music

Posted at 12:09 pm by CeCi
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Dec 12, 2003
Playing in the dirt

I havent written in a while. I guess it's because I've been really busy. I guess you could say I've been a bit of a stress case lately. I opened The Sound of Music on Wednesday. It went pretty well. I'm a big people person & I was very proud of the show so I was a little upset when noone came to see me..well I was a lot upset, but it's ok..life moves on. Tonight (well I guess it's last night since it's 12:43 am) Natalie & Jessica came to see me so it mad me feel a lot better.(Yes, i am the looser who cried b/c I didn't want to have to face an audience full of strangers who love to hate my character & don't give a shit about me since they dont know me) I'm stressing out over this fucking 350 point econ project thats due today. AHHHH! I hate school.Let me rephrase that, I hate high school. I can't wait to go to college. Even though I got a letter from Huntingdon the day before last reclining my application. I really liked that school so I was kinda disappointed. I really didn't think I was going to get in in the first place. I'm kinda worried about UNA. I haven't heard back from them.Ahhh. Courtney, you have to quit getting yourself worked up. I want to be 3 again. I want to play in the dirt & catch snakes and frogs and stuff again and not have to worry about what school I'm going to or how I'm going to do on my exam next week.

Posted at 01:00 am by CeCi
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Dec 4, 2003
My new journal

Here's my new journal. I got tired of UJournal so I switched & here I am.

Umm yeah, F didn't show up for my voice lesson. I did get my econ homework done though. Oh well.

Posted at 08:17 pm by CeCi
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